scared straight at kev's work.

so i am coming to realize that california is fundamentally asterisk different asterisk.

i went to kevin's work last night (Mighty club) after my night out, to sort of pick him up (though i have no means of transportation), but forgot that though Mighty stays open until 4 am, you can't drink after two. time i arrived? 2:30. so crap, and it was house music, a very oddddd crowd that i don't think could/would happen on the east coast, and certainly not in philly. and i had to wait an unspecified amount of time for kevin to clock out.

i hope everyone there was on ecstacy. i hope i hope. and the atmosphere made me feel both extremely exhausted and like i was about to be the victim of gang violence.

text message to gaelan: oh crap, it's someone's birthday and it's like the rave equivalent of applebee's in here.
Re: Run!
text message to gaelan: i did i bolted i coldcocked someone and saw the trippy lights streak victory in my peripheral vision.

and then i dislodged a piece of i don't know oregano or something from my tooth/gum, but this shit was sharp like sharpened friggin oregano, meant as a hit on some italian mafioso type that ended up on my pizza accidentally, and i thought my mouth was falling apart momentarily. trippy. but then i was like okay this is why i am so on edge right now, is that i've had oregano shrapnel lodged in my gums. but i was wrong. dead wrong.

3 people talked to me that night and it was exactly like being visited by the unearthly ghosts of Stupid past present and future.

i was no longer comfortable scowling by myself. because i had met "Joel".

i had already picked him out as the ingredient i hated most in a soup of hatred that i was feeling for the crowd.

everyone wanted to and DID touch me. some random couple came up to me to talk to me about how everyone was touching me, especially on the head, but i knew it was just an excuse for them to touch me in reenactment. why i do not know.

and i was all like "shhhh! i am trying to watch the movie about supercool graphics!" that was playing on the wall/screen, but they wouldn't listen. they intruded, they sat, they touched, they spoke.

i blew a bubble with my gum and someone found it appropriate to sit down next to me and say "awesome". i put that gum on the crust of my stale pizza while i chomped and watched the massacre of what i knew of dancing.

if you thought about it as a comedy routine, it was pretty funny. a chubby girl in a furry white hat, a white fishnet dress, and weird furry white legwarmers. and why did that make me so happy. and why did i love her so much.

"what the hell is going on here. in this room where i am. with this guy". i cannot tell you how many times i had this thought last night.

and like weird with the costumes.

life the rave password rave.

and seriously what the hell were you thinking when you put that on. and i'm like "hey, that guy is super cute!" just because he's not dressed like some sort of goth jester but he's not! he's not super cute i just feel like maybe he might not be so quick to touch me, respecting the same rules of personal space boundaries that i do. that the world does. or so i thought.

hats are a bad move.

and why are you talking to me i'm wearing curdoroys for chrissakes and a granny sweater.

do i LOOK like i wanna party with you?

you want to get me, to make me join your side, but i will never join your side because your side is idiotic.

some sort of bizarre interpretive dance with a bass beat.

is that a maid uniform? jesus lord.

i'm like a nerd, i long to shy away. i don't know if i'm hungry i don't know if i'm sorry but baby all i need to do is i'm like a nerd i long to shy away.

thank you shania or whatever.